Here is a personality quiz I designed after years of coaching and training leaders - and seeing where the conflicts happen and how understanding personality may prevent or resolve them.
I’m excited to share these results with you! I developed these leadership personality types based on a
decade of coaching utilizing a myriad of assessments, and the coaching you are
about to receive below are straight from the coaching I give to my clients and
participants in the women’s leadership development course I teach, Women’sLeadership Challenge.
Regardless of which result you receive, it is imperative to understand that we don’t see the world the way it is-
we see the world the way we are. That means we expect other people to behave
like we do, to see the world through our glasses, with our frame of mind.
Sometimes, people behave the way we expect, but often, they don’t. When they don’t, our natural inclination is to
think that something is wrong with them. You may think, wow, I don’t like that
person. But I’ve witnessed repeatedly that you often feel as if you don’t like
them, not because they did anything awful, but because they do things
differently than the way you would
Alternatively, if we are in an institution with many people of one type, we may deduce that something is wrong
with us because we just don’t fit in. We try and try and try to fit a round peg
into a square hole, but no matter how much we try, it doesn’t work.
This can detract from our self-esteem and self-confidence, and cause depression and anxiety, as we constantly wonder,
Is something wrong with me?
I have good news for you; there is nothing wrong with you.
We are all different – we come from different backgrounds, lived experiences, biologies, and upbringings. We have
endured various traumas and achieved multiple accomplishments. We all have our
way of seeing the world based upon many aspects, many of which we can’t
control.
When we were kids, we were taught“treat others the way you want to be treated.” In essence, our parents were
saying, be nice to others. Don’t be a jerk. Their advice comes with beautiful
intentions – telling us to be empathetic and kind - but that saying mars the whole
picture.
After training over 4000 peopleleaders from 45 countries, I’d like to change that saying to “Don’t treat
others the way you want to be treated; treat others the way theywant to be treated.”
That takes getting to know theirnatural typology.
As leaders, we must be masters ofemotional intelligence, perception, and nuance. We need to sense things before
people need them; we need to recognize that one person might want to have their
hand held, and another might want to be left alone.
The key is to recognize the value ofall these different types and build powerful teams by integrating them and then
showing them how to value one another, not despite their differences, but
because of them.
You also may crossover into differentcategories, introducing the concept of flexing or adapting. For example, if
you’re in a room of all people with your primary personality type, you may have
to adjust – a room of executors may all kill each other without a harmony
seeker. That’s where you lean into another type. I hope this is helpful to you
in becoming a more effective leader – and happier person.
Your strengths:
You are great at GSD(getting stuff done). You love challenges, and you are capable of finding solutions to the hardest challenges.
You work well under pressure and naturally take charge of projects. You
know how to break a task into small parts to bring it to fruition, and you can
laser focus to get everything done. You tend to be competitive, which means you
also tend to win more than those who don’t care about coming out on top. You
aren’t afraid to communicate directly and are honest and transparent. You are
organized, diligent, and reliable. People know that you are efficient and get
straight to the point.
You may be easily frustrated by other styles that move more slowly and love small talk.
Relationship builders, for example, like to chat before they start into items
of business. If you are in a relationship-building culture (Latin America, the
American South, etc.), they won’t even DO business with you until they form a
relationship with you first.
Only some people like to get to business right away. You might want to start a meeting with, hi,
how are you, or How are your kids ?before you jump right into agenda items. Some
people need authentic human connection, and they will feel put off if you are always
all business. They won’t feel valued. You must also realize that not everyone is
as efficient as you are. Express patience and help find out what they need from
you and the team to execute on time. Also, make sure to allow for other voices
to come to the table – we know you are smart, but there are likely other intelligent
people around you whose ideas you are missing out on if you always need to have
control. Relax, take a deep breath, and smile
You are a direct communicator, which creates clarity for people as they never wonder what you
are thinking, but be careful not to come off too direct or harsh, especially in
cultures that prefer indirect feedback, especially if it’s negative. Try
utilizing downgraders, or offer feedback as “suggestions,” “growth
opportunities,” and “constructive criticism” to soften your feedback so that
people aren’t threatened or feel as if you are rude.
Also, make sure that you Listen. Try to ask more questions rather than make statements. Sometimes your brain moves so fast that focusing on someone else's words can be
challenging. You want to listen to understand, not listen to respond.
Try this technique from mediation – when someone says something, repeat it or paraphrase it back to them, then ask if you got it right before you move on.
As Brene Brown says, if you don’t address people’s fears and feelings, you cannot
address problematic behavior.
Your best partners
For decision-making and conflict prevention:
The Harmony Seekers
The Harmony Seekers are good at slowing you down and bringing other people to the table. They will want to get people to a consensus, so they resist the urge to be impatient
because it takes longer when many people are involved. Even if you are
convinced that your decision or plan of action are the right one, people are
much more likely to go along with and buy into a decision if they were involved
in the process versus receiving a top-down decision. They are excellent listeners
and know how to make people feel heard. They are softer and can round out an
executor’s sharper edges.
For influencing:
The Influencers
The relationshipbuilders are natural salespeople and lobbyists. They could sell sand in the
desert. They are also excellent at bridging divides and making people feel
good. They tend to be extroverted and the life of the party, which means you
can hand them the plan you want to execute, and they will be masters at getting
people to buy in.
For business partnership:
The Innovators
The Innovators will drive you up the wall and inspire you. They are non-linear and to executors can
seem like chaotic messes. However, where they excel is that they tend to be
able to see the big picture and the grand strategy, forecasting trends way
ahead of everyone else. They love to try out and experiment with new ideas, and
just when you think hope is lost, they will have an idea for how to change or
fix something. They are also early adopters who will likely be able to help you
adjust to a new technology or system because they embraced it without
hesitation.
Your job is to keep them on task and help them follow their ideas. They can inspire people to
follow their vision and cross the Red Sea, but when it comes to creating a
step-by-step process to implement it, they desperately need your master
execution skills and detail orientation. They also lean towards optimism and
idealism, which can counter your more realism-grounded mentality.
Strengths:
You like to evaluateall the options before getting to a solution, so your answer can typically be
much more thought through than the other thinker types. You have thought
through all the possible scenarios and meticulously combed the research. You
are reliable and detail oriented and a considerable value to the team because
they know you will come through with a thorough and detailed recommendation,
even if it takes a little bit longer. You are realistic about what is and isn't
possible, committed, loyal, and a genuine team member. You dislike conflict and
can be the voice of reason in a sea of irrational dreamers. You excel at mining
through details and coming to conclusions, which are valuable to your innovator
colleagues who are terrified of anything detail-oriented. You tend to be
punctual, and people can expect you to show up when you say you will, which is
beautiful in both work and personal relationships.
Decision-making
You can often stay in “analysisparalysis” and stagnate from deciding because you haven’t had the time or
haven’t found all the evidence. Lean on your innovator colleagues to help you
get more comfortable experimenting, taking risks, and trying new things. Sometimes
it's ok to trust your gut, your feelings, and your heart.
Taking Action
Your project, whitepaper, whatever, does not have to be perfect beyond a reasonable doubt and
reviewed by a board of peers before you put it out into the world. Don’t let
perfect be the enemy of good. Also, try breaking things into smaller chunks.
Want to write a book? Start with blogs. I have one client who wants to create a
sophisticated, interactive guide online. I could tell talking to her that could take months and a serious incomeexpenditure. It could be great, but I told her to start small, a downloadable
pdf with Top 10 tips and a short quiz. Something to get the wheels in motion
while she creates the big beautiful project she wants to make down the road.
Presenting
You also want to adjust your presentation style to the cultural context.
In principles-first cultures, like France, they want to know you got to your main points or recommendations before you offer them. This is where you get to explain some of your processes. But don’t get too in the weeds – people don’t want to see all of your data sets, especially those in leadership.
In Application First cultures, they want to see your recommendations, then hear how you get there in
bullet points. The keyword for application first cultures: concise.
Ask how much time you have and create a shorter presentation than usual because sometimes you need
help and end up wading in the weeds while everyone else is on the surface,
wondering where you are.
Your Best Partners:
The Innovator
The Innovator will likely drive you crazy. They may be disorganized, all over the place, and can’t
seem to get anything done. However, they will also push you out of your comfort
zone to dream big, lift yourself out of the details, and see the big picture. They
will push you to take action and put your products out into the world even if
you think they are imperfect. While thorough thinkers tend to be more skeptical,
and easily imagine worst-case scenarios, innovators are naturally idealists.
They will bring some optimism and best-case methods into your thought process.
The influencers:
Networking may bore you - it seems trite, superficial, and meaningless. However, it would be best
if you had allies to push through things you want to get done and create change
in the world. Leverage your relationship-building colleagues to establish those
relationships while you are putting together the master plan, then give them
the bullet points of what they need to know (don’t tell them everything, they
will get bored), and let them run with it. You may want to go with them to a
networking event and watch how they interact, how they introduce you, and how
they put various people at ease.
The Executors:
The Executors are masters at getting things done. They can help you break through your analysis paralysis and get whatever you are working on to the finish line.
You are a big ideas person. Do you connect the dots between things most people can’t – spaceships
and alcohol brands? An intergalactic line of liquor consumed upon Jeff Bezos’s spaceship,
sponsored by SpaceX. You observe the intricacies of human behavior and are
fascinated by people, products, and ideas. You are an early adopter of new
technologies, concepts, and frameworks and aren’t afraid to try new things. You
can have infectious energy around your ideas, bringing people along to the new
vision of the future.
Most people don’t like change – particularly thorough thinkers. Humans like what are familiar to
them because they want to feel safe, and safety comes from familiarity- whether
it is the same person, restaurant, or software. Your big visions can be
exciting, motivating, fantastic, excellent, and TERRIFYING for a large
population segment.
You can only rely on people to ride along with your idea if you are inspirational, motivating, and
making a robust and data-driven case. This is where you can bring along your
friends, The Thorough Thinkers, and ask them to research to support the topic
you’d like to make.
Your Best partner: Executors
Executors are masters at getting things done. They can take your all-over-the-place ideas and
put them into a step-by-step action plan, stay focused as they fire through it,
or delegate others to do it. They are great at countering your “spaghetti brain,”
as one innovator who took our Women’s Leadership Challenge referred to it , by ensuring that your ideas don’t just stay in fairy tale land but become a reality.
It’s important to understand that you might be sitting here thinking, well, what do you mean? I
can execute! I can get stuff done! But my question is, does executing tasks
make your heart sing? Does it bring you joy? Do you get excited about putting
stamps on envelopes, labeling them, writing down the addresses from the
spreadsheet, taking them to the post office, filling out the forms, then
categorizing each in a spreadsheet as you file your receipts into QuickBooks?
Yea, I didn’t think so. Your superpower is not in the details – it’s in the big
picture - to envision, spot trends, and go on walks as you dream of a better
future and new products and solutions. Lean on your executor to carry things to
fruition.
Influencer
Strengths:
You are an individual with exceptional skills in influencing and inspiring others. With natural
charisma, authentic communication style, and remarkable storytelling abilities,
you effortlessly captivate audiences and motivate them to take positive action.
You possess a magnetic presence that draws people towards you, making you a
force to be reckoned with in the realm of influence.
Your genuine passion for making a difference shines through in every interaction you have. You deeply
empathize with your audience, understanding their aspirations, fears, and
desires, which allows you to connect with them on a profound level. Your messages
evoke strong emotions and encourage your followers to question their beliefs,
fostering personal growth and transformation.
Your ability to communicate complex ideas in a relatable and accessible manner enables you to
bridge gaps between diverse groups, fostering understanding and forging
meaningful connections. Your enthusiasm and passion inspire others to join you
in making a positive impact on the world.
Growth Edges:
While You excel at influencing others, there are areas where you can focus on personal growth when
working with personality types different from your own. These growth edges
include:
1. Flexibility in Communication: Your storytelling skills may be less effective with individuals
who prefer a more straightforward and concise communication style. By
developing flexibility in your communication approach, you can ensure her
messages resonate with a wider range of personality types.
2. Openness to Feedback:Your influence often attracts praise and adoration, which may make it difficult
for you to receive constructive criticism. By cultivating an openness to
feedback, you can refine your message and connect with a broader audience more
effectively.
3. Collaboration and Teamwork: Your individual influence is remarkable, but you may struggle with
collaborating with strong personalities or differing perspectives. By embracing
collaboration and valuing diverse perspectives, you can leverage the strengths
of others and achieve even greater impact.
Your best partner: The thorough thinker
You rely on charm,charisma, and humor. This is very effective because you are excellent at
building interpersonal relationships. However, when it comes to implementing
large-scale change or selling big price tag items, there are many
decisionmakers who want to see the data, the spreadsheets, the business plan.
This is where the thorough thinker and you can be an unstoppable team. If they can
prepare all of the data, lay it out clearly, and anticipate the arguments that
you will get, you will be able to sell anything to anyone. They appeal to the
rational side (the process people or the rider), you appeal to the emotional
side (the people people or the elephant), and you will be able to get anything
through.
By recognizing these growth edges and actively working on them, you can enhance your abilities as an influential catalyst, expanding your reach and making a more profound difference in the lives of others.
You are a master at taking all different personalities and viewpoints into one room and helping them get
along. You can sense quickly when someone gets irritated, and your calm
demeanor and measured responses often help to quell conflict before it even starts.
Crises do not ruffle you, and you often perform better in them because you can
see quite clearly when everyone else is freaking out. You are high in empathy,
and can help others to walk in someone else’s shoes.
You are good at slowing things down and bringing other people to the table. You want to get people to a
consensus, and are especially patient. You are a master facilitator and
conflict resolution expert. You recognize that people are much more likely to go
along with and buy into a decision if they are involved in the process versus
receiving a top-down decision without their input. You are an excellent
listener and know how to make people feel heard – which is one of the most
important and fundamental aspects of exceptional leadership. People want to
feel seen, recognized, valued and heard. Your calmness in crisis is extremely
valuable – spread your calm energy everywhere in order to quell a heated
situation.
Your Growth Edges:
Your Empathy is a superpower, but it also means you can get so wrapped up in other’s emotions
that you can’t stop feeling them for days. Other’s emotions affect you. Draw
careful boundaries, and make sure you still know how to be empathetic to
yourself while you are spending time trying to steady a rocky boat. Often
harmony seekers are so attuned to others’ needs, emotions, and problems that
they unconsciously abandon their own. Also don’t be so conditioned to listen to
others that you forget to listen to your own voice. When you are so busy
bringing everyone else’s voice to the table, you may forget that YOU have a
unique perspective to bear and wisdom to impart. Don’t make space for everyone
else at the table and then sit on the sidelines.
In addition, you will not do well with people who are super impatient or have a lot of anger – but they
will be drawn to you due to your calm demeanor. Limit friendships and romantic
relationships with those types of people, because you can only resist soaking
in their negativity and volatility for a short period of time.
Will drive you nuts: The executor
The executor will often strike you as too direct, too harsh, and too matter of fact. You can soften the
edges of the executor by reminding them that people are more likely to go along
with decisions that they have been part of. That being said, you don't have to
seek consensus from everyone for every decision. Sometimes you can borrow from
the expert's quick decision-making style by separating those big decisions that
require buy-in and decisions that can just be made yourself.
Will drive you nuts: The thorough thinker
The thorough thinker does not trust his heart. They rely on evidence-based data and they want solid proof. Explaining things from a
feeling sense will confuse them and make them think less of you. Help them to
explore their feelings and hidden vulnerability and connect with people in a
genuine way, and work with them to create evidence-based arguments for other
thorough thinkers who are critical in decision-making processes. They are loyal colleagues and will follow through- just not as quickly as an executor might want. They will fill in your blind spots.